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9 November 2007 Forgiveness | Yoga
| Breakfast | Wrinkles | Chemical Peels | Extramarital Affairs
This eZine (No. 104)
Apologies, Forgiveness and EmpathyBy: Ainsley LaingWe live in a world where when someone wrongs us, often we are told “I’m sorry” and the reply is usually “never mind”, “forget about it” or “it’s nothing”. This works 99.9% of the time. But what about when someone has hurts us intentionally - obviously premeditated and/or repeated over a long period of time? When things like this happen, well meaning people tell us that we have to forgive in order to heal. This often leaves the “victim” wondering if there is something wrong with them because they can’t “forgive”. Warning, the following is a bit disturbing - but has a happy ending. John and Jane Anyman live in a neighborhood house with their 2 children Jim and Susie. Their next door neighbors Cathy and Steve Goodneighbor have 2 children, Sarah, Charlie and a playful and friendly puppy named Rufus. John is known in the neighborhood as a very nice guy. The two families get together often. Rufus has a bad habit of digging under the fence, getting out of the yard and chasing moving vehicles. The Goodneighbor family works very hard to keep Rufus inside. One day Rufus he gets out and chases John who is riding his bike. John is very annoyed at the dog and tells Jane that “something will have to be done about THAT dog. People shouldn’t be allowed to have dogs like that.” His tone of voice is very odd and frightens Jane. Time goes by…Rufus gets out and chases John again. John, who has been carrying a stick, brutally hits the dog over the head. At dinner, he brags to Jane, Jim and Susie how he “took care of the obnoxious dog”. Later, the Goodneighbor children found Rufus beaten and dead. They were traumatized and very sad. Another neighbor had seen John beat Rufus. He told the Goodneighbors. Steve tells John that someone beat Rufus to death and asks him “Did you see anyone hit the dog?” John has several choices here. He can:
1. Denial: The Goodneighbors, John’s family and the rest of the neighborhood know that he did it. They are likely to conclude that he is a cruel, abusive person. 2. Blaming the Victims: The Goodneighbors will probably feel angry at John’s statement that they “made him” do it. Again, they are likely to conclude that he is a cruel, abusive person - who feels entitled and justified in his abuse (no remorse). 3. Accepting Full Responsibility: The Goodneighbors would feel he is remorseful. In time, they may begin to believe John’s act was a mistake instead of deliberate malice. If he follows through with restitution, they may be able to re-connect fully. The Happy Ending: Before Jim, Susie Goodneighbor was married to a verbally and emotionally abusive man. She knew from her Abuse Survivor’s Group literature that John’s cruelty to animals was a big RED Flag of a potentially abusive person. She talked to Jane who confirmed that John sometimes was verbally hostile and when drinking tended to get into fist fights. The two ladies convinced John to seek counselling. The Anyman’s are a happier family now. The neighborhood once again views John as a good guy who made a cruel mistake rather than someone to avoid. AND… John recently bought a puppy for the Goodneighbors AND one for his own children! Most of us, at one point in our lives, find ourselves struggling to either apologize for a serious wrong or struggling to forgive one. If you find yourself in this position and looking for answers, the following may help: Forgiveness Is NOT:
Both forgiveness and sincere apologies require EMPATHY. Empathy is what makes us able to connect… to truly love one another! About the Author: Ainsley Laing, MSc. has been a Fitness Trainer for 25 years and writes exclusively Body for Mind eZine. She holds certifications in Group Exercise, Sports Nutrition and Personal Fitness Training. She is also a professional engineer and mom. To see more articles by Ainsley visit http://www.bodyformind.com or the blog at http://www.bodyformind.blogspot.com Different Types Of YogaBy: James GunaseelanThough yoga has its roots in India, it is fast catching on in the west and in the United States too it is gaining in popularity which means that there are more and more places where yoga is being taught and thus you will need to understand the different types of yoga before jumping in and learning any particular type. So, you need to check out Hatha yoga, Power yoga, Ashtanga yoga as well as Iyengar yoga and even Vinyasa and Bikram yoga, which are but a few of the more popular types of yoga being taught today. The first type of yoga that you may want to learn more about is Hatha yoga in which ‘ha’ stands for sun and ‘tha’ which means moon and so you can expect to perform Hatha yoga slowly and in a gentle manner and thus you will find this yoga to be ideally suited if you are a beginner who needs to get acquainted with yoga and who does not know about various poses, but still wishes to unite the mind and body as well as the spirit. Another types of yoga that is most often practiced is known as Ashtanga yoga and the name refers to the eight limbs and this is fast paced and intense and is based on a progression of poses that are performed in sync with breathing. As you may have guessed, this type of yoga is physically quite demanding since you will be moving from one pose to the other in sequence and once you perform Ashtanga yoga, you can expect to gain more stamina as well as attain strength as well as flexibility in your body. Power Yoga as we know it today is basically an offshoot of Ashtanga Yoga that was part of Hindu tradition as well as the religion practiced in India, and this form of yoga lays emphasis on developing flexibility and also needing to have a proper workout that will invigorate the entire body and once performed, it will help you to concentrate better and also improves your mental balance. Power Yoga does not follow a set series of poses. Therefore, any Power Yoga class can vary widely from the next. What they have in common is an emphasis on strength and flexibility. The advent of Power Yoga heralded yoga’s current popularity, as people began to see yoga as a way to work out.Power yoga brought yoga into the gyms of America. Power yoga is a westernized yoga and has as its basis Ashtanga yoga though in this form of yoga the sequence many not are the same as in Ashtanga yoga; though, you will still need to practice a number of poses that are performed continuously. Another type of yoga is the one known as Iyengar yoga which helps you to properly align the body and in this form of yoga you need to hold a pose for an extended period of time instead of moving from one pose to the next one. The other types of yoga are Vinyasa yoga and Bikram yoga and in the former type, there is need to perform movements in synchronization and which is fast in pace with more emphasis on your breathing while the latter type of yoga which is also referred to as hot yoga is practiced at high temperatures with humidity levels of forty percent and which involves twenty-six poses which help in loosening the muscles and which causes a lot of sweating thanks to the high temperatures. About the author: James Gunaseelan writes for the Hindu temple related portal for pooja items, books, slokas, pariharams, homams.  Importance Of Breakfast In Your DietBy: Deborah CarraroMany people make the mistake of skipping or skimping on breakfast in their daily diet. This may be due to any number of reasons...rushing off to work, jumping into household chores, getting caught up with child care or just plain poor eating habits. Breakfast is an important element in one's daily diet, whatever type of diet you may prefer. I used to skip breakfast all the time. I would often fill up on water and head out the door for the daily 1.5 hour commute to work. Of course, the first stop after getting off the train would be a coffee - simply to keep me going, not for the caffeine fix! When I worked in the Corporate World, I counted myself among the many who would skip their morning meal. Breakfast was a luxury time didn't permit. Some who are very weight loss conscious, or just wish to control weight through diet, erroneously think that skipping breakfast is a good way to eliminate calories. This is a mistake in terms of overall health, calorie control and good diet habits. Because the food we eat in our diet, the times when we eat and the particular type of food intake (protein, starch, sugar) all affect blood sugar levels and appetite. We need to control food intake in our diet in order to keep energy and blood sugar at appropriate levels. I started back at the gym two months ago after a five year hiatus. One of the first things I did, even before setting foot in the door of the gym, was incorporate a breakfast and a morning snack into my daily routine. It's made the world of difference. In fact, the days that I don't eat a full meal or skip my snack, I feel it in my energy levels when I hit the gym. In essence when we awake in the morning our body has been through a period of "fasting", with no food intake for a number of hours. This results in relatively low blood sugar. If one skips breakfast in one's diet, the blood sugar level continues to dip and a sudden craving can develop for food, especially for sugar in the diet, which again causes a quick rise in blood sugar. When the diet includes sudden intake of sugar, the sugar level jumps, which develops a roller coaster effect and leads to a poor diet which includes "quick fixes". Typically a quick response to low blood sugar is a sweet, a soft drink or alcohol...none of which are a good diet supplement. A diet which maintains appropriate levels of blood sugar and energy will include a healthy breakfast. Blood sugar levels will be maintained with a diet that includes a balanced breakfast combining whole grain, some source of protein and fruit. Protein in particular in the diet, including breakfast, will maintain blood sugar levels, avoiding the dips which lead to snacking. If you're pressed for time, consider a smoothie. You can chop your fruits and vegetables the night before and load them into your blender glass. Refrigerate overnight (or not if you prefer room temperature smoothies) and whirl away in the blender in the morning along with your favorite liquid. Five minutes is all you'll need to whip up a nutritious and substantial breakfast. You can even pour it into a travel mug or neoprene jug and tote it with you on your commute. A healthy breakfast is an essential part of a healthy diet. Beginning your day with a good, nourishing meal is the first step toward maintaining a balanced diet and a sensible approach to good eating habits. Don't skip breakfast in your daily diet. Your body will thank you. About the author: Deborah Carraro is an avid nutrition, health & fitness enthusiast. http://www.smoothiesforhealth.com Want to learn how to defend
yourself?
Comic ReliefMen NEVER listen!!!!!A man and his wife
received a letter from their daughter who went to study overseas:
My beloved Parents, I miss you so much. I don't know when I'm coming home, but it seems not anytime soon. It breaks my heart to think that by the time I get back you'll be too old. So enclosed you will find a bottle of a potion I have invented. It will make you young, so when I return you'll be the same age as I left you. NOTE: "Please take only one drop" NOTE: "Please take only one drop" So they opened the envelope and in it there is a bottle with a red potion.. The husband looks at the wife and says: "You go first." So the wife opens the bottle and takes a drop, there after the husband follows. Indeed they do turn 5 years younger. A year passes and the daughter returns home to find her mother young and beautiful, carrying a baby on her back. The mother proceeds to tell her daughter how the potion worked and made her look young. The daughter is delighted and asks about her father. "Your father, my child, got so jealous that I was young and beautiful so he drank the whole bottle." "So where is he?" "Oh, that's him I have on my back." Learn
how to stop wanting to
smoke ever again!
 Having a “Sweet Tooth” Can Cause WrinklesBy: jmHalloween is over and a lot of people, not just kids, had a great time indulging in candies, brownies, and all the sweets that abound during this trick or treat fest. But whether it's Halloween or not, most Americans love to have too much sweets in their diet without regard to getting overweight, which may lead to obesity and other problems related to too much sugar intake such as wrinkles. According to Kerry Neville, a registered dietitian and spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association, “Americans eat too much sugar, and it appears that the threat of making them fat doesn't seem to discourage excess sugar eating. So this latest wrinkle scare might just do the trick. That is great.” We all know how far women would go just to stop the aging process, and the prospect of getting wrinkles from too much sugar consumption may affect their physical, emotional, and psychological well-being. Some women may even develop inferiority complex, and experience stress and anxiety due to aging problems. A recent study in the British Journal of Dermatology reveals that a process called glycation occurs when sweets -- not just refined sugar, but anything that turns into glucose during metabolism in your body -- are eaten and the glucose enters the bloodstream. As they float along, they search out and latch on to proteins and form a new molecule called advanced glycation end products, or appropriately shortened to AGEs. The increase in sugar consumption also increases AGEs production. These molecules wreak havoc on the adjacent proteins, the most vulnerable of which are the compounds responsible for keeping our skin firm and elastic: collagen and elastin. The result is sagging, wrinkled skin. However, here's the good news for all those who have a “sweet tooth.” There are some things we can still do to remedy the damage being brought about by too much sugar in your diet. Obviously, you have to limit your sugar intake. “The lower your sugar consumption, the better it is for your health,” said Neville. But it's not easy to ascertain where those added sugars are coming from. “Eliminating them all is hard,” said Neville. “Often it is a matter of where you are getting the added sugar. Food labels don't spell out added sugars.” It is important to look for words such as corn sweetener, corn syrup, sucrose or sorghum, to name a few. On the other hand, Dr. Darren Casey, a dermatologist and dermatological surgeon in Atlanta, Georgia, isn't so worried about potential skin damage from sugar. “Sun and smoking are the leading cause of wrinkles,” he said. Getting plenty of antioxidants in your diet as well as taking chewable vitamin C can help offset the harmful effects of too much consumption of sweet. Products that contain retinoids can also revitalize sugar-damaged or environmentally challenged skin. Retinoids are a class of compounds related chemically to vitamin A that are readily available over the counter or through prescription. They are the best treatment to help soften fine lines or wrinkles, which in turn will help you look younger. So when the next holiday treats start to beckon, think again. Don't get tricked by its sweet talks. About the author: From: http://www.article-content-king.com Chemical Peels, What you need to know about chemical peelsBy: Firoj KhanChemical peels, also known as chemexfoliation or derma-peeling, are a technique used to improve the appearance of the skin. In this treatment, a chemical solution is applied to the skin, which causes it to eventually peel off. The new, regenerated skin is usually smoother and less wrinkled than the old skin. Chemical Peels Question 1, What Conditions Does a Chemical Peel Treat? Chemical peels are performed on the face, neck or hands. Chemical peels can be used to:
Chemical Peels Question 2, How Are Chemical Peels Performed? The skin is thoroughly cleansed with an agent(chemical peel) that removes excess oils while the eyes and hair are protected. One or more chemicalsolutions, such as glycolic acid, trichloroacetic acid, salicylic acid,lactic acid or carbolic acid (phenol), are applied to small areas on the skin. These Chemical Peel applications produce a controlled wound, enabling new, regenerated skin to appear. Chemical Peels Question 3, How do I prepare for a Chemical Peel? Prior to the chemical peel, your Aesthetician may ask you to stop taking certain drugs and prepare your skin with topical preconditioning medications such as Retin-A, Renova, or glycolic acid. After the chemical peel, it's important to use a broad-spectrum sunscreen every day. The more clinical definition of a chemical peel is as follows: A chemical peel is a body treatment technique used to improve and smooth the texture of the facial skin using a chemical solution that causes the skin to blister and eventually peel off. The regenerated skin is usually smoother and less wrinkled than the old skin. Thus the term chemical peel is derived. Some types of chemical peels can be purchased and administered without a medical license, however people are advised to seek professional help from a dermatologist on a specific type of chemical peel before a procedure is performed. About the author: At Ashley Elizabeth Aesthetics you can give your skin the attention it truly deserves. Ashley Elizabeth personalizes each treatment providing her clients with their total skin care solutions while creating a more beautiful and healthier looking you. For more information visit http://www.austin-skincare.com Extramarital Affair Advice - 5 Ways Back To LoveBy: Marie-Claire SmithIf you find yourself in the midst of an extramarital affair, you may be trying to figure out what to do next: does this mean the end of your relationship with your partner, or do you think you can find your way back to a loving relationship? Here are 5 ways back to love. 1. Decide how you really feel about your partner: If you are having an affair, you have likely put any serious thoughts about your relationship with your spouse or partner on the back burner. The thrill or excitement of an affair - at least at the beginning - can serve as a drug that keeps you from seriously facing your real relationship. This state of limbo between two relationships can last for a while, but eventually you will find the need to come back around and face your previous/current relationship with your long-term partner. Ask yourself whether you really have the love for your partner to try make things work. 2. Determine whether you will share your indiscretion: Provided that you do decide you would like to really commit faithfully to your partner, you will have to determine whether it makes the most sense to share news about your affair with him or her or whether to keep it to yourself. This is a very personal decision, and only one that you can rightfully make. Ultimately, it boils down to your own sense of ethics and also your sense of what will make the both of you the happiest. 3. Get some professional help with your relationship: Should you successfully end your affair, the fact that you have had an extramarital affair undoubtedly means you have some serious issues in your relationship that you need to face. Whether you choose to see a therapist by yourself or to do so together with your partner, do seek professional help. You will find that a therapist can really help you work through your issues and increase the chances for a successful relationship. 4. Renew your commitment to your partner: If you want to avoid the chance of having another affair in the future, you must renew your commitment to your partner in your heart. If you are just staying with your spouse or partner because you are afraid of the changes that will come if you leave the relationship, you are doing both of you a disservice. You need to really commit to your love in order to make it work again. 5. Completely end all contact with your recent lover: The way back to your love with your partner includes a final, essential step: cutting off all contact with the person with whom you had the affair. Keeping them on the line or even talking with them periodically means that you are holding a little part of yourself open to the possibility of future untoward contact with that person. Best to let that relationship go completely so that you can focus on being with your spouse or partner and making it work. The way back to love after an affair is not an easy one. You first need to get in touch with the part of you that knows how you really feel about your partner. Then, if you do decide to commit to your relationship again, you need to psychologically, spiritually, and energetically commit to letting go of the fling you are having and instead focus all of your attention on your partner. You can have the love you deserve, but it requires 100% commitment from your heart. About the author: Marie-Claire is an event planner specializing in weddings and baby showers. She has been happily married for 12 years but still enjoys the occasional night out with the girls. Dave's Life Changing Program: |
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