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16 January 2008 New Year's
Resolutions| Weight Loss Secrets | Goal Setting | Healthy Habits |
Personal Growth Barriers
| Tantric Sex
This eZine (No. 112)
New Year’s Resolutions? Ask for HelpBy: Ainsley LaingWhat kind of New Year’s resolutions did you make this year? Did they involve improving your health, fitness, nutrition or related health habits? Every year, many of us start off with good intentions, only to find that “life” gets in the way. A couple of months along we find we are no closer to achieving what we started out to do. It’s easy to justify or excuse these “failures” in a variety of ways. Maybe it wasn’t a high enough priority or we are just too busy and so forth. But there’s one element in all of this that might be overlooked – genuine support and understanding by the people we care about. An important part of this relationship dynamic is that we feel the person or people closest to us have faith in our abilities to do what we set out to do. Fitness trainers see this sort of thing a lot. A person comes for training, gets going well and then starts missing sessions. When the person is asked why, the answer is usually something like “I feel that I am taking too much time away from my family” or “my wife feels that we are not spending enough time together”. I once had a spouse of a client tell me right in front of the client that the client has started to get fit many times and failed and that now he doesn’t believe she can do it!” I felt the client’s hurt and self doubt with that comment. Certainly, the comment does not encourage her success. That’s really tough. If you are having trouble keeping fitness resolutions (or any resolutions) year after year, take a look at your family and friends. Do you feel that they are they enthusiastically supporting your efforts and believe in your ability to accomplish what you start? If not, try to think of some ways to change this situation for the better. Here are some ideas: Recruit a support group of people who can support and mentor you to help offset some of the difficulties and self doubt you are experiencing. Your supporters don’t have to be fitness enthusiasts (although your trainer is a good place to start). They can be friends or colleagues whom you enjoy. Even better: talk to people who are accomplishing goals while experiencing resistance or lack of support by their loved ones. Communicate, communicate, communicate and communicate again! It’s up to you to find a way to communicate the importance of your goals to your family and friends emphasizing your need for them to support you. Tell your loved ones how difficult this change is for you and how past failures affect your self confidence in this area….and that you need them to help you! Ask for their suggestions on how you can meet their needs and also accomplish what you want to do. Try to find out how they feel about what you are doing - if there are fears or insecurities involved. Sometimes there can be hidden agendas such as a spouse’s fear that you getting fit will cause you to change in a negative way or a child who thinks you will spend less time with them. Then, with this knowledge, together, discuss ways to make sure everyone feels secure and happy with any changes in routines etc. You will be amazed at how much cooperation and enthusiastic support you will receive, just by asking… Have a wonderful year! About the Author: Ainsley Laing, MSc. has been a Fitness Trainer for 26 years and writes exclusively Body for Mind eZine. She holds certifications in Group Exercise, Sports Nutrition and Personal Fitness Training. She is also a professional engineer and mom. To see more articles by Ainsley visit http://www.bodyformind.com or the blog at http://www.bodyformind.blogspot.com  Weight Loss Secrets You Already KnowBy: Lisa JamesWeight Loss dreams in the spring are as predictable as April showers. Those who have put on a few extra holiday and winter pounds realize the annual bikini season is almost upon us and have a fear of having to bear it all at the beach. Without the ability of having to drown their sorrows in food (which pretty much put them in this banana boat anyway) weight loss hopefuls look for ways to make the weight magically disappear. Weight loss season is the start of a whole new holiday season for retailers. Books about the newest weight loss fads fly off the shelves. Diet pills and diet pill supplements sell out at the pharmacy. Health and fitness magazines like Shape and Prevention start to outsell the ever popular celebrity weeklies. The most astonishing part of this whole phenomenon is that weight loss hopefuls seek answers to a question that they already know the answer to. Like the exasperated parent, who must repeat things just one more time, I will give you the not so secret secrets to weight loss. It will not cost you a penny at the pharmacy or the bookstore, it is absolutely free. Weight Loss Secret #1 Lay off the ice cream, cookie dough, deep fried Twinkies, well you get the point. It is not just the sweets but they are a big culprit. In general you need to burn more calories than you are taking in. Cookies and the like are really high in calories. Try choosing foods with fewer calories, the fewer calories you take in the less you have to burn. Foods like lean meats and vegetables are low in fat and calories. So have the broccoli (without the melted cheese of course), Make a nice big salad your best friend. Salad will never steer you wrong unlike fair-weather friends fat and grease. Weight Loss Secret #2 Move away from the keyboard. I repeat, move away from the keyboard. You will never, ever be able to burn the desired amount of calories by surfing the net and instant messaging. There are quite a few ways to get moving. Clean the house mow the lawn, its spring so start spring cleaning. A better idea is to take the kids to the park and enjoy the weather. Get into it, jump rope, play baseball maybe a little catch. Don’t be bothered by the heavy breathing and wheezing. This will subside after you’ve done it a few times. You don’t have kids? Take the dog to the park and play Frisbee. Don’t have a dog? Borrow a friend’s for the day. If that doesn’t work out go to the park and play with the pigeons. They love to run and exercise and there are always plenty of them around in the park to play with. Another solution is to do what millions of other people do. Go to the one place that is bearable for only 2-3 months of the year – the gym. There, while working out you can and will meet those just as reluctant to be there as you and together you can commiserate on the cruel twist of genetic fate that has brought you to such a pass. The exercise will do you good. You’ll make new friends and start to feel better. An added bonus is that walking up long flights of stairs will no longer be such a chore. So there you have it the not so secret secrets to weight loss. Read the article, follow my tips, they will work of course. Tuck this article away until you need some inspiration again. See you next spring. About the author: Lisa James is an avid reader of magazines and books. She is also a staff writer for http://www.suscriba.com, provider of discount magazine subscriptions. Comic ReliefMy Daughter My daughter
called me at work to say I received a call from "Josh" at the bank
regarding my account. So, I called my bank and the operator asked me what Josh's last name was and I explained that he hadn't left his last name. When she asked for his department, I said that I didn't know. "There are 1500 employees in this building, ma'am," she told me rather sharply. So I asked her for her name. "Danielle," she said. "And your last name?" I asked. "Sorry," she replied, "we're not allowed to give last names."  The Hidden Value Of Setting GoalsBy: Stuart GardinerHave you ever wondered how much control we actually have over our lives? The mind is continuously sending us messages to do this or that and our lack of awareness blindly follows its commands. These messages are generally self defeating because when the mind is in control it will always side with taking the easy option over the better one. Each time we attempt something new and give up because of the latest whim or passing fancy we give it more control and the cycle gets harder to break! For most of us, our sense of self is derived from the contents of our mind. Memories of the past, future projection and the baggage we have accumulated are used to identify who we are. We have become separated from our true self by the way in which the mind manipulates time. We have identified with the tool and not the master. We are letting the mind run the show and the way we live is not helping us one bit. Goal setting provides a mechanism through which we can break the mind's control over our lives. It is clear to most people that if you want to make a success of your life then setting personal goals is a must. Through setting goals we grow because our dreams tend to be bigger than we are now. To reach our targets we make a plan, overcome obstacles, do things we wouldn't have otherwise done and if need be, go the extra mile. A life of drifting from one thing to the next turns into a life of direction. Success becomes less a game of chance, more a matter of time. But what of the hidden benefits of setting goals? When we set goals and take the steps necessary to reach our targets we start to treat the mind more like a tool. Distractions become more noticeable because they take us away from our targets. When we become aware of this happening we can re-focus on the present activity and give it our full attention. This awareness can be used to get in touch with who we really are and break the hold the mind has over us. The longer we can hold onto this awareness the less control we give to the mind. You see, the mind and time are inseparable. When we bring our attention into the present moment we are breaking the bonds of time and allowing the true self to take charge. The channel is now open for all the qualities of genius to come into our work. The mind simply cannot compare to what the true self can offer. The answers to our prayers are wrapped in the present. About the author: Stuart is the co-owner of site http://www.7stepsup.com and the author of several blogs. He believes there are hidden benefits to goal setting that go beyond common knowledge. Learn
how to stop wanting to
smoke ever again!
 5 Habits Of Highly Healthy PeopleBy: Adrian AdamsHabit 1: Eating right is a very important part of a healthy lifestyle. Now according to many of today’s marketing ploys, you could be eating anything and it’s considered “healthy”. Low-fat, low-carb, no-carb…what’s the best. Well, I think if you just use common sense, you’ll know what a healthy diet is. If you can, shop at the natural food store, as this is usually the healthiest food. Stick to the food guide pyramid and get some variety. One of the biggest factors is how often you eat. All of our lives we’ve been taught to eat three big meals. However, recent studies have shown that this isn’t necessarily best for us. If you can, try eating 4-6 smaller meals throughout the day. This keeps your metabolism working constantly and will burn more calories. This approach is pretty obvious when you think about it. When you only eat big portions a few times per day, your body thinks it will be awhile until it gets food again. Therefore, it stores some of the food away for a rainy day. If you eat more frequently, your body thinks more food will be coming soon. Less fat is stored as a result of this. So in summary, eat your meat, dairy, grains, fruits and vegetables…and eat them frequently. Habit 2: Another habit that healthy people perform is taking supplements. Vitamins can give you that extra boost that you don’t get through your diet. Chances are, even if you’re trying to eat healthy, you miss something that you need. A good multivitamin will solve that. Habit 3: Healthy people generally get a good amount of sleep every night. Your body was designed to rest every night. It will work better for you if you let it. Six to eight hours is optimal. When you go to sleep, clear your mind of everything else. A busy mind will keep you awake and not let you sleep as deeply. Just try to forget the day and rest. You’ll feel much better. Habit 4: Another habit that healthy people have in common is good hygiene. This may seem like a given, but it should not be ignored. Having good oral health contributes to your overall health as well. So listen to the dentist and brush at least twice a day. Don’t forget to floss, either. Habit 5: One habit that nearly all highly healthy people have in common is their attitude. Good mental health is synonymous with good physical health. You can’t be depressed all the time and be healthy. Control your attitude and control your health. Try to put some of these habits into your routine. You’ll be glad you did. About the author: Looking for quality supplements? Try FreeLife Supplements. Be sure to check out FreeLife's glucosamine supplement. The 3 Most Prominent Personal Growth BarriersBy: Deon Du PlessisWhat’s the deal with all this personal growth and self development business? Why bother in the first place? Charles Atlas who earned himself the title as the ‘the world's most perfectly developed man’ had this to say: ‘Truest SUCCESS is but the development of self.’ It’s so easy to treat personal development as ‘optional’ and so few people ever take the time to actively improve themselves. Your personal growth and self development is arguably one of the most important thing you can do with your time. You can even argue that to actualize your true potential is the purpose of being here. In many ways all your actions are geared towards ‘self improvement’. Everything you do, you do with a positive intent. This, however is mostly unconscious and for the majority of people it’s a case of pursuing ‘things’ and ‘stuff’ with the (all to common) assumption that when they get enough stuff they will be happy. You don’t have to search too far to find just how wrong this theory really is. Every day we read about ‘extremely successful’ people who end up in rehab or who kill themselves. Why? To return to Charles Atlas – true success is but the development of your ‘self’. At no point in your life can you just stop and say ‘now I am successful – I think I’ll take the next 10 years off’. Unfortunately this is ‘the dream’ that so many people aspire to. The key to a lifetime of happiness lies in personal growth. Real and lasting fulfillment in life comes from consistently improving the quality of your life. Life is dynamic and it has to keep moving. Like in nature, everything that does not grow, dies! You will either grow or die, and although you probably won’t die a physical death, you most certainly will suffer a psychological death. Depression is but one example of the effects of failing to grow as a person. If you are not growing you will feel like you are dying. Every day life hands us opportunities to grow. They are mostly disguised as problems and unfortunately most people curse them instead of seeing the wonderful opportunities that they present. Earl Schoff once said ‘Don’t wish for less problems. Wish that you were better’. This is where personal growth comes to play and you must do it on purpose and with an active state of mind. So why do people fail to actively participate in their own personal growth? Well, there are certain personal growth barriers that prevent them from actively progressing in any area of your life. The key word being ‘actively’. The three biggest personal growth barriers are three interrelated behaviours that tend to keep us immobilized and locked up in inaction. The result being the failure to progress with our lives. Personal Growth Barrier #1: Procrastination Procrastination is the irrational delay of tasks, especially important ones. On a conscious level you might want a specific result and you know what course of action to take, but still you remain immobilized. The failure to act is what keeps you where you are. It is likely that what you are procrastinating about is what you MUST do as this will help you grow in your ability to take action and just do it. Keep in mind that you only procrastinate about tasks that you value and at some level you know you will benefit from it. Personal Growth Barrier #2: Indecision Every single action is preceded by a decision. The ancestor to every action is a decision and the failure to act can be traced back to the failure to make decisions. The ironic thing is that not making a decision is a decision - isn’t it? Indecision is like a disease that you have to eradicate from your life. Indecision is simply the result of a fear of failure and by not making a decision you can’t fail – right? Realize that nothing in the future has happened yet and fearing the worse possible outcome will almost certainly keep you from making the decision. If you don’t make the decisions you won’t take the actions and you will remain immobilized. Personal Growth Barrier #3: Comfort Zones Comfort zones are all those things that you are too familiar with – and often to the point where you don’t even attempt anything else. Inside your comfort zones everything is known and you have this sense of certainty that you can comfortably deal with anything that comes your way. You’ve done it before and you feel ‘at ease’ with it. Stepping outside your comfort zones challenge your beliefs and it challenges your perceptions. Stepping outside your comfort zones however, challenges you to grow as a person – you have to grow to get comfortable outside your old comfort zone. Most of your limitations are self imposed and controlled by what you belief you can or cannot do, what you like or dislike, what you think is right or wrong. You have to keep stretching your ‘self’ physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually to avoid standing still and remaining imprisoned by your comfort zones. Oliver Wendell Holmes once said ‘Man's mind, once stretched to new idea never goes back to it's original dimensions.’ All barriers are only that – they are barriers. It often strikes me how these typical vehicle barriers at boarder check points are so ‘flimsy’. They can hardly stop a bicycle, yet they stop big sixteen wheelers. The barrier is more psychological than actual. So are the barriers to your personal growth. They can stop you, but they can’t keep you unless you allow them to. Simply acknowledge them and then move on. Personal growth is a choice and it’s an active process. To ensure a happy and fulfilled life that is filled with joy and appreciation you have to consistently grow and expand your ‘self’. About the author: To move past your barriers, sign up for Deon Du Plessis’ revealing new Course (free) and discover some of his highly effective strategies for overcoming procrastination and indecision. Learn Tantric Sex 101By: Lisa AngelettieTANTRIC SEX 101 Define it please. The word tantra is a Sanskrit word meaning "woven together". Tantric Sex is a Hindu practice and sexual ritual that mixes meditation and non-orgasmic sex to attain a state of perfect bliss. Sounds deep right? Well yes, but what is tantric sex really? Simply stated, it is the opposite of a "quickie". There is no race to get to the orgasm finish line. There is no more obsessing about when you will finally reach climax. Whew! The goal of practicing tantric sex is to develop ways of delaying orgasm and manipulating the ability to control climax. Practitioners claim the key to successfully delaying orgasm is by having slow sex with your partner, controlling your breathing, and keeping mentally focused. What do I get out of it? Practitioners believe that tantric sex can significantly improve physical health, sexual passion, partner communication and feelings of inner peace and harmony. Couples may at the very least find it a refreshing change from their normal sex routine. So how do we learn what to do? Learning correct tantra techniques is crucial for a positive experience. Couples can learn tantric sex techniques in a variety of ways and settings. The most popular include tantric workshops, private tantric couple sessions, tantra vacations, and books & videos on tantric sex technique. More information please: Read more about tantric sex in: The Complete Idiots Guide to Tantric Sex by Dr. Judy Kuriansky . Try a tantric workshop or contact a teacher at: http://www.tantra.com or http://www.ecstaticliving.com For the ultimate experience, build tantra skills while on a tropical vacation. For more info: http://www.ecstaticliving.com/TantraVacations.htm About the author: Lisa Angelettie, M.S.W., is a psychotherapist, author, and an online advice authority. She has been helping people make smarter life choices since 1998. Visit her for Advice & Counseling, or take a free Depression Screening at http://www.girlshrink.com Dave's Life Changing Program: |
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