24 January 2008

This eZine (No. 114)

Nutrition:	Good Eating Habits -- Myths
Fitness:	The Basic Rules Of Achieving Good Health
MindPower:	Unsatisfied Basic Needs And Addictive Behavior
Wellness:	Reduce Your Stress: Your Children Are Waiting!
PersonalGrowth:	5 Keys To Overcome Failure
Relationships:	Top Ten Relationship Mistakes - Part 1

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Good Eating Habits -- Myths

By:  Sheila Floyd

Think of your body as a precision machine. It has countless intricate parts that work together to perform amazing functions. And like any machine, it needs to be regularly maintained and properly fueled.

We need fuel with the right mix of ingredients and nutrients to run with optimal performance. There is a tremendous amount of untrue information floating around the rumor mill and the Internet, and it is up to you to dig through that to establish your own good eating habits.

Here are seven myths -- busted -- about good eating habits:

1. "Working out on an empty stomach is best." Myth. Your stomach is rumbling for a reason: it wants a bit more fuel before you go to the gym. Ignoring the message will force your main engine to run on empty. So have a small snack, such as a piece of fruit, before undertaking physical exercise.

2. "Meal replacement bars and drinks are good for you." Sorry, another myth. Meal replacement bars and drinks can offer a small benefit if you are traveling or in a real pinch, but they are nowhere near the same as eating real food. Vitamins, antioxidants, minerals, fiber, and plenty more is available in fruit and vegetables, and is much better than bars.

3. "Breakfast is not that important." Mom was right about this, as breakfast is the most important meal of each day. Eat a healthy breakfast to give your body the charge it needs to meet your busy schedule. If you skip breakfast, your low fuel start will leave you feeling sluggish and hungry throughout the day.

4. "Low-carb diets provide all the nutrients we need." Another myth. For temporary weight loss, low-carb diets may work, but in terms of overall good health, they come up short. We need carbohydrates for our very survival, and they start by developing muscle tissue, and storing energy for later use.

5. "Eat what you want, when you want." If only life were that easy. Just because you're making some good food choices and exercising regularly, doesn't necessarily give you license to eat everything you want. Balance is the key. You can't eat only cheese and no fruit or vegetables and expect to lead a healthy life.

6. "Chop as many calories as you can." Cutting calories is part of losing weight, but running too low on fuel can harm you, too. Trim those calories gently, aiming for a weight loss of about 1-2 pounds per week. Much more loss than that means you should add some more food to your diet.

7. "Skip soda and alcohol." This is no myth. Good eating habits go hand in hand with good drinking habits. Water, milk, and juice will always be the best beverage choices for active bodies. Drink often, and not only when you feel thirsty. By the time you begin to feel thirst, your body is already close to running on empty.

Good eating habits begin with a solid understanding of proper diet. When you change what you eat, you'll be taking an important step toward improving your overall wellness. Fuel up and keep your motor running for optimum performance today, and down the road.

About the author:
Sheila Ffloyd is a columnist for several well-known web magazines, on health education and alternative health care issues.

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Unsatisfied Basic Needs And Addictive Behavior 

By: Marianne Weidlein
 
Throughout our lives we have various requirements that must be met. These are our needs and desires, which range from basic physical needs to selfless desire. When any of these are not met, negative physical, mental, and emotional complications and addictions can result, sometimes with distressful consequences. This discussion is about needs.

A need is an explicit requirement, like feeling hungry and demanding to eat or seeking assurance when you feel unloved and insecure. Satisfying a need means that it has been gratified, relieved, and discharged. Once you feel satisfied, your attention easily turns to something else.

The following list of needs is inspired by the work of Abraham Maslow.

Physical needs. Food, water, safety, shelter, health, basic comfort and income.

Security. You feel secure when you feel wanted, accepted, loved, and supported by others, and are able to feel a sense of belonging.

Connection. The drive to meaningfully relate, involve, give and receive, procreate and/or experience sexual fulfillment.

Self-esteem. You need confidence, competence, respect and power. When you feel approval, recognition and admiration from others, you naturally feel these for yourself and others. This develops the confidence needed to risk and strive. From competence and achievement, you develop assurance, poise, and power. Esteem in all these ways is preeminent to favorable development and behavior.

Integrity. This results from fulfilling your agreements with yourself and others. Because you carefully consider possible consequences, you are discerning in your choices and are thereby able to trust yourself.

Satisfying basic needs is primary. Without doing so, you are distracted, out of balance, and out of peace. If numerous needs are unsatisfied, then your disturbances are complicated and magnified. Your daily activities and creative flow are biased and directed toward the satisfaction of your unmet need(s). Your focus is distracted and skewed, your life is entangled with problems, and your fulfillment will be forever compromised.

Since most people don't know how to address their unmet needs, they turn their attention to what seems easier. And yet it never truly works because weakness arises. For example, a person becomes a great singer, yet never learns how to develop or maintain healthy intimate relationships.

To satisfy basic needs one must feel the insecurity that develops from its lack, then determine the best way to effectively address it. However, many people lack the requisite trust, strength and method by which to do so. This inhibits healthy progress because they fear they will be weakened by admitting the lack; yet they will actually be strengthened.

The key is to identify the unsatisfied need that the negative behavior attempts to satisfy. Next, replace that negative behavior with a positive equivalent. For example, returning alone to her hotel room feeling the high of a concert, the great singer typically orders her favorite goodies, eats heartily, and grows larger. By determining that she never learned how to develop and maintain healthy relationships, she is able to decide how to begin developing satisfying relationships, even while touring.

Indeed, satisfying basic needs is necessary because it provides the foundation for all else to develop, and supports you to reach your optimum levels. Satisfying basic needs is fundamental to clarity, peace, and overall well-being, and supports your potential to be realized.

About the author:
Article written by author, mentor, facilitator Marianne Weidlein. You can also find Marianne Weidlein listed in the Find a Life Coach, Life Coaching directory

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Reduce Your Stress: Your Children Are Waiting! 

By: Aurelia Williams
 
 Mothers are expected to possess huge hearts, big shoulders, a minimum of 3 hands, all the answers and the list goes on! What many mothers forget is they are not born with super hero powers to handle all of those things at once.

Mom=Stress. It’s a fact of life. Reducing stress is of the utmost importance to everyone, but especially mothers.

You know stress can lead to depression, heart disease, and an unhealthy mom. Did you also know your stress, if not handled correctly, can have a negative impact on your children too?

The most important things in a mother’s life, her children, are also the most influential. Children are sponges and everything Mom does they will, at some point in time in their lives, mimic. If children see their mother constantly stressed out, they will be more inclined to follow those patterns. What you do today can determine the kind of life your child will lead tomorrow, including how you make it a point to reduce stressful situations.

Mothers tend to overload themselves, which in turn overloads their children. Adults move at a much faster pace and their bodies are more adept to handle the speed of life. Children, on the other hand, are not able to function this way, which can lead to developmental and behavior problems in the long run if constantly pushed to keep up with an adult’s quicker pace.

Studies have shown a mother who is under excessive amounts of stress will hand out harsher punishments than one who is not. Prolonged stress can cause a mother to get to the point that she feels overwhelmed and will not stop to think before handing down discipline. This type of behavior teaches children it is ok to let your mood control your life as a parent

Children need to feel a sense of security and know that their mom is there to help them work through and understand the stressful times in their lives. If children are not taught what stress is and why it is a part of their lives, they will never learn how to reduce it, therefore leading them down a path of unhappiness and unhealthy choices. Give them the tools early about how to deal with stress and more importantly, how to reduce the amount of stress that occurs in their lives.

There is no one who lives an entirely stress free life. In fact, you shouldn’t want your children to have a life with absolutely no stress. The day will come that a stressful situation occurs and they will have no idea how to cope with it, which is cause for an extremely negative outcome.

As a mother you must show your children that stress does not have to control your life. Mother’s have a tendency to try and do it all; even when they know they are not capable. STOP! Make a point, each day, to reduce your stress levels.

Eliminating just one stressful situation can make a world of difference in the way you feel and how your children handle stress as adults.

About the author:
Aurelia Williams, Personal Life Coach and owner of Real Life Coaching.

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5 Keys To Overcome Failure 

By: Jason Osborn  
 
Everyone hates to fail but what most people don’t realize is that failing is part of success. Anyone who has ever succeeded has failed many times. So, how do you overcome failure?

Here are 5 keys to overcoming failure.

1. Learn from your mistakes and failures.

How did you learn to ride a bike? The short answer: you fell off 100 times. Every time you make a mistake or fail, learn as much as you can from it so that you are better prepared next time.

Action Step: Write down the top five things that you learned from your last mistake or failure.

2. Don’t dwell on it.

Now that you have learned something from your mistake, move on. Don’t dwell on your past. You can’t tell where you are going if you are looking backwards. Also, dwelling on your past failures will keep you in prison right where you are.

Action Step: Read what you have written down in Key 1 (The 5 Things You Learned).

3. Don’t be afraid to try again.

Don’t let the fear from your last failure stop you from reaching your greatness, goal, dream, or potential. Just like learning to ride that bike, you didn’t fall once or twice and then give up.

Action Step: Take what you have learned and try it again now that you are better prepared.

4. Surround yourself with positive people.

No matter what it is that you are trying to achieve, surround yourself with successful people that have done what you want to do. One of the best ways to overcome failure is to learn how other people just like you overcame failure. This will not only encourage you but give you the proof that it can be done.

Action Step: Find a person or a group of people who are successful and get around them as soon as possible.

5. Realize that failure is part of the learning curve.

Failure and mistakes aren’t fun but they are what help us learn to be great at whatever it is we are trying to achieve. “There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” – Colin Powell

Action Step: Think back to a time where you succeeded. Then think how many times you failed or made mistakes to get to that success.

About the author:
Now that you have the 5 Keys to Overcoming Failure, go out there and just do it! You have a seed of greatness on the inside of you. Don’t let anyone or anything stop you from reaching your full potential in life. About the author: To get your free 7 part e-course, subscribe at http://www.findyourgreatness.com.
Jason and Rebecca Osborn have dedicated themselves to changing thousands of lives by helping people find their greatness and true potential through their Find Your Greatness Newsletter.

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Top Ten Relationship Mistakes - Part 1

By E. Raymond Rock

Feelings regarding a new relationship will almost always involve powerful lust. This is natural. When an interest grows sexually, it grows as quickly and as surely as a child. Each interaction doubles the desire until the need to be constantly together becomes unstoppable; a temporary insanity that works for the human race.

 It's right here, at these initial stages of lust and desire, that the intuition is disregarded. Warning signs regarding long-term difficulties are thrust aside by the strong emotions that are being felt. Being aware of what is happening is the only hope of touching your gut-feelings for a moment, a moment that could possibly avert a lifetime of problems.

2. Lack of self-confidence.

The feeling here is that you need someone to complete you; a piece is missing that you must find. With antennae up, the search begins, and because you are searching so intently, there is the tendency to grab the first thing that provides you with the attention that you so badly need. In this case, intuition and feelings surrender to a psychological need. The problem is, the insecurity is only solved temporarily, and down the road after the relationship cools, the constant attention that you require may not be there.

3. Thinking that things will automatically work out.

There is the tendency to put a new relationship on autopilot, as if it is divinely inspired. We look past any potential problems and just believe that everything will be fine. Part of this is due to sexual attraction, which nature has programmed to be invulnerable to logic! In this case, intuition is temporarily sidestepped, and the part of us that says, "Watch out!" is muffled in deference to procreating the species.

4. Falling in love with "love" rather than your partner.

Needing a relationship to solve your insecurity, loneliness, etc., regardless of the hapless person who fills that need, is destined for failure, simply because the entire emphasis is on your needs. This immature attitude will destroy a relationship in short order, or as soon as your partner doesn't live up to your expectations.

5. Relying on self-help books and friend's advice instead of your own intuition.

If we are in touch with our intuition, values such as honesty, compassion, and selflessness will become apparent in a potential partner. Friends and relatives might have other ideas, such as success or good looks, or books might tell us to consider religious or political affiliation. The key is differentiating our intuition from our lust.

6. Overconfidence.

This could be a symptom of being caught up in yourself, and could lead to arrogance and conceit. When you are arrogant, this means that you disregard other's feelings, simply because you are the most important consideration at all times. You basically need only yourself, but sexual needs get in the way, and therefore you might feign a relationship for that purpose.

7. Confusing the realities of a relationship with eternal bliss.

This is confusing human relationships with conceptualized ideals of religious experience. The initial feelings of a relationship may be indeed transcendent, but they never last. The relationship gets real very fast, and when it does, a mature perceptive of human relationship must be understood.

8 Unwillingness to change and adapt to the relationship.

We might feel that our way is the right way and harbor strong opinions about what is right and what is wrong. If we can see these as only our opinions based on our personal experiences and exposure, and understand that our partner's perspective may be quite different, this will go a long way in determining whether we will be able to compromise and be successful in building a strong relationship.

9. Comparing your relationship or partner with others.

This involves a number of problems based on fear, such as envy, insecurity, and greed (for something better than what you have). An initial relationship will never hold up to its promises, simply because it becomes stale, as anything does that we become overly familiar with. It's just the way things work. Knowing and understanding these things at the get go is where we have a chance to convert a stale relationship into a mature relationship. It all depends upon our capacity to compromise our selfish desires with the things that our partner requires.

10. Creating a crisis to keep things interesting.

Fighting and making up recreates that initial exuberance, but when that no longer works, you might attempt to shore up a relationship with some kind of a long-term excitement or commitment. Children are a good distraction. The child rearing years temporarily create a diversion from the realities of a close relationship. They do end, however, and then what was not faced initially comes home to roost. Better to come to terms with the realities of a relationship initially, rather than forgo the reality until years later. Too many people break up in their forties and fifties when the children are gone and they are faced with their relationship again, but this time with no escape.

About the author:
E. Raymond Rock of Fort Myers, Florida is cofounder and principal teacher at the Southwest Florida Insight Center, http://www.SouthwestFloridaInsightCenter.com His twenty-eight years of meditation experience has taken him across four continents, including two stopovers in Thailand where he practiced in the remote northeast forests as an ordained Theravada Buddhist monk. His book, A Year to Enlightenment (Career Press/New Page Books) is now available at major bookstores and online retailers. Visit http://www.AYearToEnlightenment.com 

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Dave's Life Changing Program:

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For your health,

Ainsley & Dave

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