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13 March 2008 Achieving Goals |
Effective
Weight Loss | Empowering Children | Heart Attack | Cure Stress
| Life After Divorce
This eZine (No. 121)
Achieving Your Goals – Words Make a DifferenceBy: Ainsley LaingKids have the most amazing insight if you stop and listen to them. Our daughter has an adult relative who lives far away who said to her “I wish I could see you more often”. Do you know what she said later? I don’t think he means it, or he would see me more often. Good observation. Let’s look at this more closely. When the relative above says “I wish”, this person is indicating that 1) they have not made a decision to make it happen and 2) the ability to make visits more often is not within his/her power. To that, I say poppycock! The decision to “make it so” is the key. Not the how, or why. For any goal, one just has to decide to it and then figure out how. The how will follow. To achieve a goal, it’s crucial to decide to do it. It doesn’t matter really how or whether you feel that circumstances are outside your control. The means to accomplish this goal will present themselves after you decide. Waiting to think about it or wish about it moves one no closer to achievement. .. and wastes time that could be used constructively toward the goal. Ok, ok, Nike beat me to it…. To get what we want, we need to get rid of the words “would”, “could”, “should”, “wish”, “might” and replace them with “I will” or “I won’t”. There’s no doubt that the Nike slogan has appeal: Just Do It! If you look at the cause and effect decision making that we do for so many of our decisions, it’s very simple: deciding to do it should be first, then how. How many times have you dwelled on making a decision because you started thinking about the how and got stuck? I have, a lot. Unless I take notice, this is the first place I go. It has kept me from taking positive actions more than once. Many people are comfortable in their world of would, could and should. It’s easier to make excuses for failure that way. No promises made to anyone (including oneself), just wishful thinking. Of course, like our daughter pointed out, it’s almost always a failure mindset. Without commitment there is no action. An easy example of this that we all can relate to is diet and exercise. Many of my friends wish they weighed less or “had a body like X”. Deciding to get fit and eat right is the first step. The how becomes evident with a bit of studying and organization. Next thing you know… a whole new fit body! So, it’s more the wisdom of our grandfathers and grandmothers than modern science. It goes like this. 1. Consider decision and its impact to you and your important people 2. Decide to do it or not 3. Then, figure out how I for one am working on replacing the “would, could, should” in my vocabulary with “I will, I can, I shall and you bet!”. I have been amazed at the difference that one simple paradigm shift has made in my life. Just Do It! About the Author: Ainsley Laing, MS. has been a Fitness Trainer for 26 years and writes exclusively Body for Mind eZine. She holds certifications in Group Exercise, Sports Nutrition and Personal Fitness Training. She is also a professional engineer and mom. To see more articles by Ainsley visit http://www.bodyformind.com or the blog at http://www.bodyformind.blogspot.com  How to Loose Weight Effectively - Practical MeasuresBy: Knut HoltIn order to successfully reduce weight and get slim, you have to eat healthy food, you have to reduce your consume of fat and carbohydrates and you have to exercise regularly. Here are some practical measures to fulfill this goal: - Reduce the total amount of food you eat. - However, do not try to starve yourself. Eat regularly 4 (or 5) moderate meals each day. In this way your blood sugar level will not drop to low amounts that hinder you in doing physical activities, and give you an impulse to over-eat. - Do not use fast-food or other sorts of pre-made food. Make your meals from pure raw ingredients that you buy yourself. In this way you have full control of what you put into your body. - Do not eat between the meals. - Each meal shall include some lean protein-rich element like lean fish, poultry, mushrooms or lean meat. - Cut away all visible fat from meat, poultry or fish. - Each meal shall also include some vegetables or fruit. These shall be raw or only gently cooked. - In each meal there shall also be some whole corn bread or cereals, beans, peas or potatoes as a carbohydrate and energy source. It is important to vary the energy source from meal to meal. Do not only use bread or potatoes. - Fat fish, nuts, almonds, sunflower seeds, olives and the like contain very much fat. But the fat is of a type that is valuable for your health. You shall therefore eat some of these food types every day, but in moderate amounts. You may however choose to increase the amount of these ingredients in your diet if you reduce the amount of bread, and other carbohydrate sources. - Do not add much extra oil, butter, fat sauces, fat dressings, sugar or sweet sauces to your food. - The little fat you add to your food should be of natural chemically unaltered types like virgin olive oil, sunflower oil, rape oil / canola oil, soy oil, fish oil or natural butter. Vary the oil type to get all essential fatty acids. - Ideally you should not consume sweet beverages, except fruit juice in moderate amounts. - Reduce your alcohol consume. Alcohol is converted to fat in your body. - Drastically reduce your consume of snacks, ice-cream, cakes, cookies, chocolate and the like. - Do not consume great amounts of salt. Salt does not make you fat, but it binds water in your body and this excessive water contribute to your weight problem. When you loose fat, the fat also tends to be replaced by water. Reducing the salt consume will help you get rid of excessive water. - Some people over-eat because of boredom. Find some new hobby activities or some new friends that share some of your interests. - Do some physical exercise at least every second day. You shall include exercises that give your muscles some resistance in order to increase your muscle mass, for example weight lifting. You shall also include some activities that make you consume energy and build up your condition, like running, swimming and cycling. And you should do some stretching exercises, for example yoga postures. - A supplement of vitamins and minerals can be useful to make your body able to burn fat effectively or increase your ability to engage in physical activities. When you reduce the amount of food you consume, also the amount of vitamins and minerals you take in will be reduced. This lack can be remanded with an extra supplement. - On the market you can also find preparations of herbs, vitamins and minerals especially made for people in a slimming process, giving these effects: They replace a lack of vitamins, minerals and anti-oxidants because of reduced eating. They help your body burn and eliminate fat. They give you a feeling of greater energy and a greater ability to be physically active. They help reduce an abnormal appetite. Some preparations also contain ingredients that reduce the uptake of fat and carbohydrates from the intestines. About the author: Knut Holt is an internet consultant and marketer focusing on health items. PLEASE VISIT:--- http://www.panteraconsulting.com/salg2.htm Comic ReliefThings Children Have Learned
Are You Training or Empowering your Child?By Connie AllenRecently a mom said to me, "I realize I've trained my daughter to be afraid of me. Now I want to train her to trust me." Have you ever wished you could change how your child perceives and reacts to you? It can be painful to see the results of your actions and words mirrored back to you in your child. Since getting my horse Destiny, I've often thought about the difference between training a horse and empowering a child. There are similarities between these two because you're relating with another sentient being who perceives and remembers. Children and horses remember how you treat them, and many of their actions are a result of your actions toward them. When you are gentle and patient, they respond more calmly and willingly. When you neglect their emotional needs and act in ways that are uncomfortable to them, they don't trust you and feel cautious with you, even when they do what you say. Training is used to manage behavior in people and horses. Training uses techniques, such as force, repetition, positive and negative reinforcement, to elicit the desired behavior. Training is when you have an agenda for the other, and you want them to do what you want. Training is not something you can do with your child's emotions. Emotions are their own separate entity, separate from your child's thought-process. Emotions and perceptions of safety and connectedness come from the inside out. The individual draws conclusions and develops interpretations of reality based on their unique perception of their life experience, not based on the techniques you use. Children, even when they are infants, perceive and make decisions based on their own observations and experiences. You may believe or hope that you can control their thoughts and feelings, but you cannot. You cannot train your child to trust you, to like you, or to feel close and connected to you. You cannot train your child to be happy and loving. You may think you child needs your guidance to teach him how to be a compassionate, successful person; but what I've seen is that children are independent, autonomous, loving people who are constantly figuring life out for themselves, regardless of what you do or say. Training creates obedience. Empowering your child nurtures his ability to problem-solve, be creative and self-reliant. Empowering your child helps her feel confident, loved, and joyous. So what's a parent or educator to do if your child feels insecure or afraid of you? Focus on nurturing your child's emotional wholeness. Make your emotional connection together your highest priority. Make choices from your deep love for your child. Then you'll feel the love and trust between you grow, and those old behavior challenges disappear. About the author: Connie Allen, M.A. of Joy with Children. Connie helps parents and educators who are unsure how to best empower their child. For information on how you can nurture the joyous inner spirit of children, subscribe to her free e-newsletter "Joy with Children". Visit http://connieallen.typepad.com/joyousjourney Heart Attack SymptomsBy: Vigdis Tange AndersenHeart attacks are something that can be inherited from others in your family or you can create a world where you are eating and leading the lifestyle that is going to lead to a heart attach. No matter if your parents have had heart attacks, or if you are leading a sedentary lifestyle, it is important to understand and learn about what is going to be the signs of a heart attack. Heart attack symptoms are something that should not be ignored, and that you should seek medical attention for if you feel or think that you are having a heart attack. A heart attack can lead to death, and a severe heart attack can sometimes be prevented or treated if you know what some of the heart attack symptoms are. Heart attack symptoms in every day life No matter what you age, there can be underlying problems that are going to lead to a heart attack if you are not careful. The first line of defense for anyone, is to get regular checkups. For the doctor to see you when you are healthy and feeling good, and then when you are sick, the doctor can determine easier what may be ‘out of line’ or ‘out of whack’ making you feel ill. Getting a regular physical is going to be a good defense preventing medical problems in the long run. Heart attack symptoms can be very sudden and for other people they can be long-term problems, pains and even just discomforts. A heart attack is one that can come on and not last very long, or for other people it can be sudden and the pain can last for hours. If you feel a heavy feeling in your chest, like someone is standing on your chest and you just can’t catch your breath, this is a sign of a heart attack. If you have been feeling a pain that comes and goes, that is uncomfortable, that is a squeezing feeling or a sharp shooting pain, this could be signs of a heart attack. Another sign of a heart attack can be a shortness of breath. If you are a very active person, you know what it will feel like when you are unable to catch your breath or take in a deep breath. The signs of a heart attack include not being able to take a breath, or a deep breath which can in turn leave you feeling dizzy and feeling as if you need to sit down for a while. A heart attack symptom is not one that you should ignore. If you are feeling combinations of symptoms it can be vital to get to your doctor as soon as possible. If you feel pains or discomfort in your arms, legs or in the chest, and you feel as if your neck or jaw are hurting uncontrollably, these could be additional signs of a heart attack. Heart attack symptoms will vary from person to person, but pain that is not normal, that you don’t usually feel, in combination with shortness of breath and or a tightness in your chest could be a huge sign that you are heading towards a heart attack. About the author: Vigdis Tange Andersen's http://www.heartattacksymptom.org Learn
how to stop wanting to
smoke ever again!
 How To Cure Stress And Anxiety With Ease?By: Ashish JainHappiness is a summum bonum (total good) of a man’s life. To be at peace with his inner self is the purpose of his existence. When you move away from it, you are agitated. Distortions in your normal disposition begin to occur. You experience fear and confusion envelops you. But that is not the end of the program. You need to emerge victorious out of the confusing cobweb. And, that is all about the cure of stress and anxiety. Stress and anxiety is always about coming to the terms with you. Anxieties about what happened in the past are not that intense. If they continue to hurt you, they hurt in a lesser degree. Anxieties about the future are what really matter. Out motivated approach to the problems of future lead us to never ending confusion and anxiety. To enable you to find the cure for your stress and anxiety make a careful analysis of what anxiety is about. Suppose you are full of anxiety about a particular matter and you continue at that level throughout the day. At the end of the day by remaining in that difficult condition, have you solved the problem? No! Then what is the use of your remaining in the state of anxiety? You have simply burned your calories for nothing, without any benefit. Fortunately or unfortunately, there are no over the counter medications to cure anxiety. If there are any, they are not going to solve your problem at all. Because, your anxiety is a result of your misconception about the reality! The real and everlasting cure for stress and anxiety is beginning the process of introspection. What is the root cause of the stress? If there are multiple causes, try to sort out one cause with lesser intensity first. From the bundle of negative thoughts, pull them out one by one and treat them, and deal with them, in the manner you should. Remaining afraid of the problem is no solution. Instead of brooding over the problem, proceed with the determination that you need to face and emerge victorious. This positive strength of the mind itself will reduce the punch and stress and anxiety. Also remember, stress and anxiety are not diseases as such. They are related to a particular individual. There are as many types of stresses and anxiety as the population of the world. It is a highly personalized level in the disturbance of your equilibrium. So the cure has to be found by only you! About the author: Get more information to cure stress and anxiety with ease on http://www.aboutstressmanagement.com/stressrelief/ Is There Life After Divorce?By Elizabeth SavinoIs There Life After Divorce? When one door closes another one opens; But we often look so long and regretfully Upon the closed door, That we do not see the ones which are open. -Alexander Graham Bell When I ask women who are going through a divorce, "What do you think you can gain from this?", I'm usually met with blank stares and silence. But, after they think for a bit, I usually see a gleam in their eyes when they say in one form or another, "I'll get ME back." Exactly! This is the sense of self that many people find after they evolve out of their marriage. Notice, I chose the word "evolve", because, when you go on with life and grow, new joys along with fulfillment and all sorts of possibilities pop up. Sure, along with that also comes some challenges. But you cannot grow if you do not confront things head on, maneuver through it, and keep reaching for your full potential! So, no matter what stage of divorce you are in, whether you are just thinking about it, in the process of it or several years out, finding YOU again and becoming all you want to be should be your goal. Beginning Steps to Discover You After Divorce First, do nothing - After the emotional upheaval of divorce, take time to relax. Easier said than done, I understand. But, if you can give yourself the gift of time to unwind and take it easy for a bit, you will benefit greatly by allowing yourself time to heal as your emotions settle. You have just come to the end of one journey, while another - the rest of your life - is beginning. Take some time to rest before you enter your new journey. Next, do something- Fill yourself with positive energy and rejuvenate. Time with loved ones, eating well, and restful sleep is a must. Do something just for you. Take time to grow by signing up for a course, pick up your camera again, join a gym or start a project you have put on hold. Remember to infuse fun into your life and sprinkle in lots of laughter and smiles too. Then, create a plan - Where do you go from here? This is a big question, I know! Now that you have given yourself the gift of time, you may have more clarity as to what it is that you desire for your future. Begin by dividing your life into parts such as, career, personal growth, family, friends, finance and spirituality. Then think of what you desire in these areas and what steps you can take to move in that direction. Consult with trusted advisors or professions to assist you in this planning so you are sure to have the guidance of an objective opinion aimed at helping you create the life you desire. So, is there life after divorce? You bet there is! But, it is up to you to create a life that is happy, fulfilling and most of all, is created by you with your unique passions and desires in mind! About the author: Elizabeth Savino is a Life Coach and Founder of Sole Life Coaching located in Pennington, New Jersey. Elizabeth specializing in recreating your life after divorce by promoting clarity and empowerment to promote positive changes in the future. http://www.elizabethsavino.com Dave's Life Changing Program: |
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