This eZine (No. 134)

SelfGrowth:	Seeking Purpose vs. Happiness
SelfGrowth:	What Are You Made For?
SelfGrowth:	Are You Happy To Lead A Mediocre Life Just Because Others Do?

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Seeking Purpose vs. Happiness

By:  Ainsley Laing

Shmuley Boteach, an accomplished theologian, writer and moral leader, writes in his article "Six Values for Raising Outstanding Children" that it is important to stress purpose as opposed to happiness.  He goes on to say that telling kids, "I just want you to be happy" is one of the silliest parenting mantras ever. What if being a lazy beachcomber, womanizer or drug dealer makes him happy? 

Really makes you think doesn't it?

Boteach's premise is that it is the pursuit of PURPOSE rather than pursuit of happiness that makes people happiest.  If we devote ourselves to a purpose that we find meaningful, fulfillment and happiness will follow. Let's work through that idea....

How often in your life have you heard people say "I deserve to be happy"  "Life is too short..." etc?  But why do we feel like we are simply entitled to be happy? Are we expecting others to do it for us?  How? And is our own happiness the only reason that we exist?  Big questions!

If you are among us "over 40" crowd, no doubt you have experienced some sort of "mid life crisis" that is the brunt of so much humor.  Doesn't the very core of a mid life crisis lie in seeking meaningfulness in our lives?
If the thinking is that happiness alone is the reason we live - any changes brought on by the mid life crisis will not bring us to the answer to the "why am I here" question. 

Personally, when I went through a mid-life crisis brought on by divorce, my first thought was what will I do now to make myself happy?  This line of thinking was also taken by my ex who wanted a divorce because "he deserved to be happy".   It's a common line of thinking.

But when I hit the bottom of my emotional low, I started taking stock of things in my life that gave me happiness.  The "aha!" moment came with the realization that I was really happy doing things to contribute to the lives of others: raising my child, my job lecturing at a university and teaching fitness classes.  I became very thankful to have so many opportunities and skills to give to others.  It was these things that gave me a sense of feeling valuable, which got me out of bed every morning and through those tough times.

Now, when I meet someone else going through a difficult life transition, I listen for comments like "I have to keep going for my kids" or "my parents need me".  These comments show that although the person has it tough, they will get through it all ok.  They have purpose; a reason to persevere.

And of course, it's really a lot about perception of the worthiness of your individual pursuits is it not?  If you are happy with your life, my guess is that probably because you feel you are a contributing member of society - that what you do is important.  It may not be that your job is socially valuable (although most jobs are in some way).  But you live your life in a way that gives value to someone else, be it your kids, your spouse, your parents or... the world.

Assigning meaning to your life right now is a matter of bringing the sense of purpose to down to a day to day level.  Ask yourself: what is the real motivation for doing the things you do?   

Why do you go to work?  What contributions do you make in your job to enrich the lives of others?  Some jobs are easy to place value.  If you work as a fireman, a stay-at-home parent or garbage collector, these jobs make direct contributions to society.  If you work as an accountant or office administrator though you may have to look a bit deeper. Let's not discount that working to contribute money to the family is valuable.

What do you do to take care of yourself and why?  Exercise, eating right, relaxing and getting medical checks are some ways to take care of your self.  Do you take care of yourself so you look good or because your family, friends and neighbors value you?  For most of us it's a complex combination of these things. 

If you do volunteer work or contribute to charity, why?  Why do you spend time with your family members?  What do you do with them?  What do you do to enrich their lives?  What is your contribution to your friendships?

If you look closely, you will find that the most meaningful things in your life involve giving your unique gifts to others in some way. Real joy comes from giving.

So, it comes down to this:  humanity. It's by giving to others that we make ourselves happy.  Visualize how you want to be remembered at the end of your life, and you will find the answer to the "why am I here" question.  Do you want to be remembered as a great Father, Mother, Citizen, Philanthropist, Friend, Worker...? 

Make the world a better place.... live with purpose.  Live with joy.

About the Author:
Ainsley Laing has been a Fitness Trainer for 27 years and writes exclusively Body for Mind eZine. She holds certifications in Group Exercise, Sports Nutrition and Personal Fitness Training. She is also a professional engineer and mom. To see more articles by Ainsley visit http://www.bodyformind.com or the blog at http://www.bodyformind.blogspot.com

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What Are You Made For?

By: Laura M. Turner, M.S., CHHP

Often society dictates our thoughts, our wardrobe, our style, even our weight. But, what happens if we're not perfect in "their" eyes? In my mind, there's two choices: 1) Spend endless hours chasing images of what we "should" be or 2) Spend time discovering the answer to the question: "what's perfect for me?"

If you've ever found yourself struggling with your image of self as it pertains to your peers, consider this your freedom ticket. Here, I'll outline several ways to enhance your personal beauty and self-worth. Further, it won't cost you anything more than your time and focus. It may even liberate you and empower you to be free to be who you are and become more of who you want to be. Here's three of my favorite ways to get you moving toward the "you" you desire to become.

Take Time To Discover Your "Self":
In effort to find ourselves truly and authentically, we need to first do what my favorite spiritual guru, Dr. Wayne Dyer says: "leave the tribe." This does not mean moving to a remote area of the country, nor does it mean ex-communicating yourself from friends and family. Simply, taking time to dream and imagine who you'd like to be authentically can create a foundation for true self-definition.

Dr. Dyer also tells us that the tribe need not know we've even left! He explains: You are the only one who needs to know you are working toward establishing yourself away and apart from the masses. Again, this does not mean selling off worldly belongings and moving to the woods. Perhaps it simply means turning off the tube for a week and spending down-time being quiet. Or expressing your creativity through the art of writing, drawing or doing something of your choice that you love to do. The list is endless. You will know when you've found your own piece of nature if the place or activity gives you peace and quiets the world around you.

Take Responsibility For Your Gifts
We have all been given gifts by the universe, but here's the challenge: It is up to us to use them! We know that our gifts were given to us for a reason, to use, explore, enjoy and share with others. As my friend tells me: When we use our gifts, God smiles. It pleases God when we use our talents and when doing so we are blessed.

Listen closely to your intuition to find what gives you energy. Follow this path toward your gifts. I truly believe If we each learn to live more authentically, share our gifts with the world and focus on the positive - we will be shown more ways to express our talents and serve the greater good. In my mind, it cannot happen any other way. What we care about and place our attention on expands. Take some time to observe yourself closely: Do you have an ear for music, eye for art, literature? What's your gift? Ask yourself are you taking absolute responsibility for it (them)?

Create a Personal Mission Statement:
If you are with me so far, you'll be taking time out of your busy schedule to find and nurture the God given gifts bestowed upon you. In addition, once you've identified your talents or dreams, try one of my favorite siren songs to the universe: create a personal mission statement. This is a technique I like to use and my contribution to the notion of discovering yourself.

Pause for a moment and ask yourself what you'd like people to remember about you. What do you believe you are here to do? In other words: What do you stand for? As Martin Luther King tells us: "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." It need only be a short statement. Here's mine: To inspire. It's that simple. Identify your mission (or choose one) and put it in pen - you'll be amazed at what develops. Each day I look carefully for ways to use my gifts in concert with my personal mission statement.

In Conclusion:
In Conversations With God, the author Neale Donald Walsch teaches us that life has no purpose save the one we give it. What's your purpose? It's a simple, yet thought provoking question. Give it some thought. If you need help sorting out your ideas, check out the classic: What Color Is Your Parachute? By Richard Nelson Bolles or my personal favorite: Finding Your Own North Star By Martha Beck. Most of all, be brave! Declare you mission, identify and take responsibility for your gifts. Let them expand and contribute them to the world. You're positive energy will become contagious. And when evaluating your self-image remember: it all begins with you.

Article Source: http://www.bodyformind.com/db

About the author:
Laura Turner is a natural health practitioner and author. She hosts http://www.beauty-and-body.com and publishes the New Body News and Wellness Letter, The Online Magazine Healthy People Read. Subscribe for f.r.e.e. and receive her Special Report: "Take Charge of Your Health!" and check out her latest book: Spiritual Fitness!

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Are You Happy To Lead A Mediocre Life Just Because Others Do?

By: TheArcher

When we read historical novels, we may laugh at the pointless lives that the gentry of that period led. The well to do who lived centuries ago spent their lives in idle pursuits totally oblivious (in most cases) to the wretchedness of the poor who spent all their waking hours working in return for meagre sustenance. And they were so overly concerned with living their lives according to regimented protocol; it just wasn’t "the done thing" to do things differently than the way the neighbours did things. The lives of the poor were just as pointless because they failed to realise that they could improve themselves if only they tried. The few who did succeed in breaking free of poverty were generally ostracised by their families because they dared to do things differently.

But are we any different today? Have we really learnt anything at all? The activities of the 21st century are vastly different from those of previous times but many are just as pointless. And today, in this current advanced era, people on the whole are still far too concerned with what their family, friends and neighbours think. Very few people are willing to change.

Is your life perfect? If it is then there is no need to change anything. But I have never yet met anyone with a perfect life, have you? Some people have a career they love but their family life suffers. Some people have very good relationships with their families and friends but their health and fitness are not very good. And some people have a totally stuffed up life in nearly all areas. Even if we have some things right, there are always areas in which we can improve ourselves, we shouldn't just get to a certain age and stop. Life is all about learning; it isn’t something reserved for the young.

People will say, "Oh I couldn’t do it that way because everyone I know does it this way!" But are all those people you know getting perfect results! Very unlikely! So why keep doing things a certain way, with mediocre results, just because everyone else does it that way? Isn't it time to make a change and do things your own way? Maybe, just maybe, you will see vast improvements in your life. And if you stuff up or don't get it quite right the first time, don't give up. Just keep on trying things out until you find what really works for you. Don’t be bothered by those who try to deter you. Your true friends will support you and the opinion of the rest of them doesn't matter!

One thing to remember - if others object to what you are doing or becoming, it is because it is a reflection of something in their own lives that they need to deal with. When they see you becoming successful in some area of your life, they feel unsettled because they know that they should be trying to make improvements in their lives too and you are reminding them of that deficiency in themselves! So it is never about you, it is about them. The sad fact is that most people are quite prepared to plod along living a mediocre existence. They really cannot see that there are better possibilities for them if only they make an effort. But you can see the possibilities, so go and live your dreams!

Article Source: http://www.bodyformind.com/db

About the author:
My aim is to help as many people as possible realise their full potential from both a human and spiritual perspective. My website provides resources for personal and spiritual development including articles, newsletter and help available by email.
Pat Campbell
"TheArcher"
http://www.eyeofthearcher.com.au

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For your health,

Ainsley & Dave